Filed under: nnxj.com — jack @ March 17, 2010 edit
Hi ill try to keep this as short as possible, im 28yrs old recently split with g/f of 2 yrs now moved back in with parents, ive always lacked confidence all my life but my gf gave me something ive never felt & i felt good about myself for once, ive never been gr8 in the bedroom for various reasons, she broke up with me, then i saw her on a chat room saying her new bf is so much fun, gr8 in bed etc & its crushed me, but besides the ex g/f problems, i recently find it hard 2 socalise even with close friends,my gf made me feel wanted & normal i guess , i spend a lot of time alone trying 2 find answers to my issues & its all i think about, ive always been a deep thinker & my mind beats me up everyday saying ur 28 yrs old, no carrer, lack of friends, tattoos i h8 so embarrased of my body which is my fault i know, it was a crazy spell in my teens, just constant beating myself up & im aware of my eyes becoming troubled? like where im telling myself bad negative things everyday im sorta preoccupied by it, ive noticed it a lot, my parents find it hard 2 look in my eyes, my friends sorta shy away from makin eye contact & its making me even more paranoid, on my own im ok but around people i become aware of how my eyes look & feel like i look paranoid, i dont want 2 get to the stage where i start scaring my family as they obviously dont see the real me looking back at them , i dunno its a mess & dont know where 2 start, like i said my ex. gf gave me a new lease of life & i was fine & confidence was rising, she said when i first met her how nice & green my eyes were saying its my best feature ! how ironic now that im paranoid about making eye contact, its where im troubled by problems in my life & feel transparant, like they say the eyes are the window to the soul, i know im a genuine caring guy & ive just lost myself & dont know how 2 redeem my self worth & stop beating myself up mentally, but it seems that i see a lot of people with the same troubled look on there faces & its scaring me a bit as i dont want 2 come across like this to my friends & family, i planned suicide last mth had it all planned but cant do it 2 my family, im ashamed of who ive become, i ask myself why am i ashamed of myself why am i so self defeatest, its like good & bad in my head battling everyday one part saying ur a decent guy get a grip, then the bad saying ur a nobody everyone whos close 2 you know ur troubled thats why they dont make eye contact & it crushes my heart to think im turning into someone who i dont like, i know this messgae is probs all over the place ! hope ive made some kinda sense & any advice would be gr8 2 hear as long as is positive advice plzzzzz ! thanx 4 readingThis sounds like one of those times in life where your chips are down, but certainly not out. Some people in your shoes find comfort in religion, others hit the bottle hard and rarely come back out. I'd suggest neither of those approaches. Instead, start by getting yourself a job, something better than what you're working now (if you're working now). I know, it's hard to find a desk job without desk job experience, but at the interview sell yourself as an unshapened ball of clay that can be sculpted to exactly what your potential employer wants. When you have a good job, some money in the bank, and your own place (because living at home at the age of 28 can't be helping your confidence right now) then it's time to start looking for a new gf. Girls seem to draw to guys with good jobs like moths to a flame. i know, all this sounds overwhelming, just take it a step at a time. No one's ever climbed Everest without taking that first step, and no one's ever become a success without first having the courage to turn their life around. Every success story has had an element like yours in it, wherein the protagonist is down and has a good excuse to be out. But they also all over come such hardships, ie Lance Armstrong beat cancer and came back to win so many races. That's what you need to do, beat your mental cancer. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but with hard work you'll have results you can be proud of. No matter how down you feel, nothing can take away your own accomplishments.
No I'm not a motivational speaker nor author of any books, nor do I have a doctorate in psychology. I'm just speaking on behalf of someone who used to be just like you, down, living with my parents, no carreer, and a major confidence problem. Now I've got a beautiful wife, a great carreer, and a nice house in a suburb.
Best of luck to ya, pal!it sounds like this realtionship has really taken a toll on you. Im sorry to hear that. I would try to go seek counseling of some sort, if you dont want one on one go to a group therapy. People there all feel the same way or worse, and they all genuinly care for what you have to say. It can help alot.
I hope you get better friend and good luck with moving past this hardship. God Bless you. Im going to say a prayer for youAlthough Yahoo Answers is a great place to get answers to your questions and for general discussion, you may want to also think about posting your question at another place. Since your question deals with mental health you should consider posting it at RecoveryForums.org where there are people that specialize in such questions.
Hope this helps you :)
Website: http://www.RecoveryForums.orgWatch this! +1000) It will explain you everything!
http://www.diggmedia.net/index.php?q=rel...You have so much to offer in life (whether you believe it or not) and are young enough to snap out of this depression. I agree with Gabe and wish you would seek professional help. The therapist will help you see the real you and the importance your life has on the people around you. Please don't hang out in chat rooms where your ex is--you can't believe everything people say there anyway. The relationship you two had was personal. It doesn't matter how many tattoos you have, or how good you are in bed - until you love yourself, no one else can. Join a gym and start to get in shape. That is a great ego booster, plus you will meet new friends. Good luck and please don't let this get you down. You can do this..My heart truly goes out to you. You seem like a good person. You should go see a therapist. A professional can help you understand and cope with the way you are feeling right now, and if it's necessary prescribe something to help take the edge off. Please don't do anything rash. You will be in my prayers.#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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