How can i stop worrying so much, its almost like im trying to find something to go wrong ?

Filed under: nnxj.com — jack @ March 16, 2010 edit
  • because things have went wrong in the past. i get paranoid and worried over barely anything. can anyone suggest anything to help?


    im worried it's going to muck up my relationships mainly with my boyfriend. which is where most of the paranoia comes from about things going wrong with him which i dont want to happen because i love him.


  • I can understand your anxiety but you need to chill..

    There is no point in facing problems before you come to them - ofcourse things may go pear shaped - but that is life..

    If everything were to turn out the way you want then all life would be is a series of stale successes.. you, me - everyone will ALWAYS have tough times ahead, but intermingled with those are fun times, tender times, great times, quiet times, angry times etc - all these things are the emotions and states that constitute being human..

    Hell - even a millionaire cannot escape having to have relations with others, aging, death, illness and so on..

    SO the only cure is to count your blessings now and save your energy for when the bad times come round again - and when they do - instead of wishing them away instead find the strength within to get through..kinda like when you want to throw in the towel - fight one more round..

    Ideally - once you have learned from the past, braced yourself for the future and so on, you will begin to learn to take the good and the bad in the same hand..

    Sure you love your bloke and great so long as it goes well - BUT and it is a big BUT even if the worst happens you will and have to get over it.. the notion there is one for us all is flawed - there are many many men (and yes I know you probably have never felt so strongly about anyone than him and cannot imagine feeling the same about anyone else etc - that'll be evolution/your endorphins doing what they are supposed to and binding you like an emotional glue to a mate to get you to reproduce..) that are suitable for you so worry not sister and enjoy what you have now..

    Life is long and life will always surprise you so do not wish or worry it away.. life is much more exciting and interesting than soaps but it may even turn out that in a few years or months YOU are the one who is ready to end it with your bloke as you have gone off him completely!

    SO - take a deep breath and vow to enjoy these happy moments you have..


  • I used to do that some and my Dad gave me some wise advise. He said to consider the situation and determine if you can do anything to change it. If not, then you cannot worry about it. I tell myself everyday that I cannot worry about things I have no control over or I cannot change. And anticipating the "what if's" is no good either.

    Really, just try to chill and not worry, it is a headgame to play with yourself to convince yourself that you cannot worry constantly.


  • Professional help needed via counselling or CBT therapy.None of us can help,as it requires a psychological process over several weeks.First point of call is the GP and explain problem clearly to them.No joy,then pay whatever it takes for private therapy for anxiety.It can destroy a persons life,anxiety,so whatever it costs it will be worth it


  • You are half way there when you realise there is a problem. You will have to find out what your issues are deep down - talk to a counsellor or you might find a reputable hypnotherapist can help.


  • Your past does not determine your future. What you do now controls that. The past is gone, it can't be changed, you have no control over it so worrying about will not change what happened. What you can control is what you do now.

    Anxious thoughts...
    Things happen
    you have thoughts about them
    the thoughts cause feelings

    You can change the type of thoughts you have. Are the thoughts you are having realistic for the situation or a distortion?

    Keep a log of your anxiety provoking thoughts. The next day, write down how you feel about them now. Did your predictions turn out the way you worried about? Could you have more realistic thoughts in the future?








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